Sometimes a Good Journal IS a Good Therapist (Or You're the Master - Remember?)

by DuEwa Frazier X @duewafrazier1 IG @nerdacityarts

What do you do when you have unanswered questions? Many spiritual texts tell you that all answers are within. That our deepest turmoil is just a lesson or a guide helping us to get to the next phase of our life, but most people advise you to seek therapy right away when you’re in turmoil.

Everyone tells you that when you’re going through any kind of life change, or perhaps you’ve faced a difficult decision or other serious occurrence, “GO to therapy.” And any sign a self-doubt or anguish over a past relationship, people say “RUN to therapy.” But sometimes therapy isn’t the answer.

In the popular 80’s film The Last Dragon, Leroy Green (Bruce Leroy played by Taimak) wanted to be a master like Bruce Lee. He got tired of being bullied by Sho’nuff and seeking power and answers from everywhere else but himself. But he finally realized he had the right tools. I am - the master. It’s kind of like that.

When we forget who we are, we turn to everyone and everything outside of ourselves.

I enjoy smelling the roses. Taking an active part in life, to embrace life’s scenes, colors, sounds, and adventures. I believe half of our problems are because we (I) don’t laugh more, get out more, go on vacation more, dance more, and write more. The reason I don’t include other people in that list is because we cannot control others. You can invite or try to drag others into your program but it’s not always a good mix. So, we can’t depend on others to make us happy and healed either.

And then there’s the still small voice everyone has. Some call it an inner child. For Christian believers, it’s the Holy Spirit. For many it’s intuition. For others it’s your guardian or angel spirit. Sit still and listen.

In a time of questions, I thought to do what I’ve always done. Pour myself onto a page and let my life flow. And instead of holding on tight - let go. Bars.

I thought back to when I was nine years old. I cherished my little notebooks. I wrote in them constantly from my elementary school years, through middle school, and high school. I wrote about how my day went. I wrote about my dreams. I wrote about the people I loved and the people who disappointed me. I wrote about my fun and silly friends. I wrote about riding my bike and gardening with my grandparents. I wrote songs and poems. I drew weird drawings. I cut out pictures from magazines of fashions I liked and places I wanted to visit. I wrote letters. I wrote lists of things I wanted to do, be, and see. I wrote about my favorite music. I wrote about my plans, all of the things I wanted to do. I now believe those early writings were my love letters, to myself, maps for how to navigate my life, and the encyclopedia for who I was and the gifts that would blossom.

Most of what I wrote about as my goals and dreams as a kid - I became those things later in life. I am still becoming.

Writing is healing and it is a form of therapy. I’ve read that journaling is like talking to yourself. Some deeply spiritual people believe that you can sit down to meditate and pray and then wait for answers to the questions you have. Your guide will answer. I don’t know if it’s true, but it’s worth a shot. At least you’ll answer when you open a new page in that journal and just let it out.

I think writing saves a person. And I think during the worst times of your life, writing is necessary. You know yourself better than anyone else. Depending on your faith, any storm can be triumphed over with patience, self-love, and the thinking, “I’ve seen this before. I must remember what I did the last time when I faced this.”

If I do what I did as a kid - write my lists and dreams, affirm who I am, have faith, and know that what I did before got me to a good place, I’m back to a kind of therapy that I didn’t know was therapy back then. I’m back to being my own best friend.

When was the last time you made a point to write just for you?

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DuEwa Frazier is a lifelong creative who wears many hats like poet, writer, speaker, children’s author, digital creator, founder, scholar, publisher, and NERD IN CHIEF. www.duewafrazier.com